Gentle Nudges and Micro-Shifts

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to put healthy eating and self-care on the back burner when life gets full? You find yourself too busy to eat well, too tired to care for yourself, and slowly starting to feel disconnected from your body along the way? You, my friends, are not alone.

Life—beautiful as it is—is also demanding. One of my favorite murals in downtown Durham, the city I call home, reads “Life is so beautiful. Life is so hard.” Every time I pass it, I breathe a heavy sigh, like someone finally gets it. Some days, the bare minimum is a win. I brushed my teeth today—well done, Erica. And when life is really hard—the kids are passing around a virus, you haven’t slept in weeks, work is relentless, your relationship feels strained (insert whatever hard thing is happening for you right now)—your own health and well-being are often the first things to slide. That healthy recipe you’ve wanted to make, post-work yoga, or a walk with a friend suddenly feels like a luxury you don’t have the time or energy for.

That’s real life. And it’s okay.

The more we beat ourselves up for not meeting our health expectations, the harder it becomes to meet them. So let me start this series here: cut yourself some slack. There is a path forward, but the first step is kindness toward yourself. And to breathe, mama….breathe.

I’ve spent much of my life in high-stress jobs and struggled to set—and honor—my own boundaries. That often meant outrageous work hours and some not-so-great coping strategies that only fueled more imbalance, including drinking too much and smoking cigarettes. Yes, your girl used to smoke. Despite a loving family, incredible friends/community, and years living abroad collecting experiences that took my breath away, I found myself unhappy at work, low on energy, and stuck in patterns that felt stagnant. I could feel it—but I didn’t know how to change it.

Change didn’t arrive in some dramatic way or in grand gestures; instead, it arrived through micro-shifts. Looking back, there were several gentle (and not-so-gentle) nudges that eventually led me to contentment – fully aware that I am still learning and growing to a place of greater peace:

• I was introduced to Nisha Vora, a vegan food creator, and soon my Saturday mornings were spent reading cookbooks, planning meals, and writing grocery lists, which felt really grounding.

• Moose entered my life with his big dog energy, and got me on solo hikes and into the woods—my happy place. Nature does serious things to the soul, folks. I recommend giving it a whirl.

• My siblings and I had a playful weight-loss competition. I have always been thoughtful about food, but this shifted awareness toward when and how I ate. This is around the time I organically began to reduce my alcohol intake.

• After years of knowing that the only things I truly control are my own actions, my responses, and what I choose to accept from others, I finally started to live that. Big difference.

• And then I lost my job… twice. It turned out to be the most uncomfortable nudge I needed.

None of these moments were magic on their own. But together, they inadvertently and slowly shifted the direction of my life by subtly changing my mind-set and guiding me to explore alternatives.

Reflection Prompts: No pressure to act. Awareness is enough for now.

• Where in your life are you trying to do things “right”? How does that effort feel in your body?

• When life is overwhelming, what is the first thing you let go of when it comes to your own care?

• What does the bare minimum look like for you right now—and can you offer yourself a little credit for meeting it?

• What small shift has helped you feel even slightly more grounded in the past?